Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Epics in 55

In response to a comment on this post, here are my 55-word takes on the two epics. Surprisingly, Ramayan was more difficult.
Now, making it infant-friendly in about 1000 words does not look all that daunting.Guess what? Mahabharat has 18 parvas. I will do each one in 55 words, bringing the total to 990!

Paandavs and Kauravs are paternal first cousins. Kauravs hate Paandavs, as they would inherit the throne. They defeat Paandavs in a rigged game of dice and have them exiled. When the Paandavs return, the Kauravs don’t return their rightful kingdom and a battle ensues. In the battle, the Paandavs vanquish Kauravs and ascend the throne.

Prince Ram’s stepmother forces King Dasarath to exile him, so that her son can become king. Ram leaves the kingdom with wife, Seeta, and younger brother, Laxman. In the exile, Rakshas King Raavan abducts Seeta. Ram goes to find her, assisted by an army of monkeys. Ram kills Raavan in a battle and reclaims Seeta.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Bas Yudi... A Dharma Productions Venture

Imagine never lying. NEVER. Never inflating your salary. Never deflating your weight. Never calling home from a pub to say you are working late. Yudhishthir did just that. Except for one - just one friggin' - time in his entire life, he never lied.
Of course, people completely lose sight of that because he lost his entire kingdom, brothers and wife in a game of dice - which he did not cheat in. But the moot point seems to be that he didn't stop either! He went all the way, ignoring all advice. And when Bheem wanted to pummel everybody present for - well - being present, he calmed him by saying "Shaant, Gada-dhari Bheem, shaant". So now you know where my knowledge of the epics are derived from!

BTW, he lost twice.
The first time was the famous episode - which ended with losing his entire kingdom, riches, brothers and wife. For good measure, Draupadi was almost stripped in full view of the court. But the elders managed to convince Dhritarashtra to give it all back to maintain peace, which was done.
Having done this, Duryodhan and Co. felt all their machinations have been in vain and convinced Dhritarashtra to call Yudi back for one final game. The loser would go on an exile for 12 years, followed by one year of incognito exile. If anybody identified them as the Paandavs during that final one year, they would have repeat the 12-year exile! Knowing fully well that he is going to be had (and really bad!), Mr Elder Bro came back and duly lost the game. All because his code of honour did not permit him to refuse an elder.

Despite all this monumentally stupid things, Yudhishthir's biggest strength - as the son of the Dharma - was the fairness in all his dealings and also his knowledge.
When the five brothers and Draupadi renounced the world and left for their mahaprasthaan, a dog followed them.
During the long walk to the heavens (!), each of the lead characters passed away as all of them had one fatal flaw which prevented their entry into the heavens in their mortal body. For every fall, Bheem asked Yudhishthir the reason and the eldest Paandav dispassionately listed them down.
Draupadi fell first. "She loved Arjun more than her other husbands."
Sahadev was next. "His good looks made him excessively vain."
Nakul after that. "He was so proud of his intelligence that he was dismissive of other people's knowledge."
Arjun. "He repeatedly claimed to be able to wipe off all his enemies in a day, which he was not capable of."
Bheem was the last to fall. "You were uncontrollably fond of food and did not think of others."
As everyone knows, the canine companion stuck on till the very end and Yudhishthir refused to enter heaven without him. The doggy manifested himself as Dharma himself and Yudi gained tonnes of brownie points for his honourable behaviour.
But frankly, this was nothing but common sense. When you see your ultra-virtuous family members popping it on the way to heaven and the doggy carrying on, you should logically conclude that it is no ordinary dog.

However, Yudi's crowning glory - in my book at least - came towards the fag end of their exile.
The tired brothers reached a resting place within the forest and were very thirsty. Sahadev went in search of water. He soon reached a beautiful lake of sparkling water. He was about to drink from it and take back some for his brothers when a stork called out to him. The stork warned that if Sahadev drank the water without answering his questions, he would die. Sahadev smirked at this claim, took a gulp of water and dropped dead. Nakul followed and met with the same fate. Ditto for Arjun and Bheem.

Note 1
: The brothers always attempted stuff in reverse chronological order. See mahaprasthaan above.
Note 2: If the later brothers thought the stork was bluffing despite seeing dead bodies around the lake, they couldn't have been the brightest lights in the harbour.

Anyway, now our man - Yudi - arrives and realises this is no ordinary stork (doggy logic, see above). So, what follows is a wonderful Q&A between the stork and Yudhishthir as the eldest Paandav answered all the questions with a little bit of style and a lot of earthy common sense. Some excerpts...

Q: Why is a Brahmin respected? What is his strength? Why are they human? What is their failing?
A: He is respected for his knowledge of the Vedas. His strength is from his tapasya. Their death makes them human. Their failing is criticism of others.

Q: Why is a Kshatriya respected? What is his strength? Why are they human? What is their failing?
A: He is respected for his mastery over weapons. His strength is from his yagna. Their fear makes them human. Their failing is desertion of the weak.

Q: What is heavier than the earth?
A: Mother is heavier than the earth.

Q: What is higher than the heavens?
A: Father is higher than the heavens.

Q: What is faster than the wind?
A: The mind is faster than the wind.

Q: What's more numerous than grass?
A: Worries are more numerous than grass.

Q: Who sleeps with eyes open?
A: Fish sleeps with eyes open.

Q: Who remains static even after birth?
A: An egg is static after birth.

Q: Who grows by his own force?
A: A river grows by his own force.

Q: What's strange?
A: People are dying all around us. Despite that, we want to live till eternity. This is strange.

Q: What's news?
A: Using Sun as fire, day and night as fuel and seasons as ladle, Time cooks the entire living world... this is news!

Q: Who is happy?
A: Someone who manages to feed himself every evening without having to stay away from home or having to borrow is happy.

At the end of this gruelling session, the stork told Yudi that he was pleased enough to revive one of his four brothers.
Yudi asked for Nakul.
Yaake, Nakul drink????, asked the stork. Why not the valiant Arjun or the mighty Bheem?
Yudi replied that the Paandavs have two mothers - Kunti and Madri, whom they treated equally in all respects. His being alive meant that Kunti had one son left and Nakul's revival would mean even Madri would have one son left.
Taaliyaan... exclaimed the stork, promptly turned into Dharma and revived all the four brothers.
Now Yudi was nothing if he was not one to use up his brownie points. He remembered that the twelve years of exile was almost up and they needed to spend one more year incognito and Duryodhan would do everything in his power to find them in this one year. So, he asked Dharam Papa for a boon... and as per the boon, nobody would recognise the five brothers and Draupadi in the thirteenth year!

So, what happened in the thirteenth year? That's a story for another day.

I have just imported Rajshekhar Basu's translation of the Mahabharat from Calcutta. Bought on 19 August 1989, I have read this book countless times. It has to be the most lucid translation of the Epic - complete with a wonderful introduction by the translator, who has to be one of the most talented authors in Bengali.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Random Movies I Like: Loha

Chatting about the recent economic meltdown, a friend and I feared for our favourite business enterprise - the Indian film industry.
If in this suffocating atmosphere of layoffs and budget cuts, corporates spending godzillion rupees on Hindi cinema decide to cut down, what a mess it might be! All the multi-crore deals for the top stars would be out of the window... and Nilendu predicted that we may see a return of the 80's style cut-price multi-starrrers like Sultanat, Shaandaar, Mahasangram, Love 86, Ajooba, Vardi and the like.
These wonderful films had at least two sets of leading pairs, a leather-clad villain, at least one song in false rain, mechanical crocodiles, motorboat chases, jail-break from a place that looks not unlike Delhi Zoo, college functions starring 30-year old extras in skirts and item numbers in country liquor bars.
This kind of discussion always makes me nostalgic and it made me reminisce about one of my favourite films of that genre - Loha.

Dharmendra is a police officer, who gets suspended when he arrests a politician. Shatrughan Sinha is an ex-army officer who gambles for a living and is a part-time Robin Hood, who gives away his earnings to poor people needing to marry off their daughters. Karan Kapoor is a drug peddler, who is convinced that the drugs he peddles are 'harmless'. So when he sees a client drop dead because of an overdose, he kills his boss. Just the trio you need to escort a gang of death row convicts to freedom.
Why? Oh you bloody pedants - that's because dacoit Shera (Amrish Puri) has kidnapped a busload of tourists and is demanding the release of his arrested chums as ransom.
Of course, there are complications like Shatrughan's son (Jugal Hansraj) also getting kidnapped by Shera. A Police Commissioner's daughter being in the tourist bus. The government refusing to release the convicts so the trio doing a jailbreak. And of course, there is the matter of Shatrughan Sinha's name, which goes something like Nawab Qasim Ali Badruddin Ali Hassan Ali Jalaluddin Ahmed Jung Bahadur.

I liked this film because of many reasons.

* Firstly, the cast was loaded. Anybody who was registered under the Cine Artists' Association in late 80's was part of the film.
Apart from the three heroes, there were Mandakini, Madhavi, Amrish Puri, Jagdish Raaj, Raza Murad, Yunus Parvez and Kader Khan in speaking parts. In addition, almost each of the convicts was a known face - Macmohan, Tej Sapru, Joginder, Roopesh Kumar and Praveen Kumar (Bheem from the Mahabharat TV serial).

* The film was a mega-budget one by those day's standards. They actually went outdoors to shoot sequences in Shera's den and even one railway station where Karan was saved by Dharmendra and Shatru from the drug lord's henchmen.
The jail was however the same place where Shatru used some horses to save Raakhee in Shaan and Amitabh hijacked Amjad Khan's gold consignment in Kaalia.

* They used sex, violence and songs exactly the way they should be used - gratuitously.
When the depraved convicts are transferred from the jail to Shera's den, the heroines help out - by wearing hot pants and mini skirts. And when they are left all alone with the convicts, they divert their attention by singing and dancing.

* They made really absurd plot devices completely absorbing.
As part of his demand, Shera dictates that each one of his convict pals must reach him alive. So, when one of the convicts is shot in a crossfire, the three heroes desperately try to revive him - while Joginder is contorting his face (like only he can!) in the background. A kidnapped tourist is given a chance to escape by Amrish, but only because he wanted to check out the aim of his newly acquired telescopic-rifle and he shoots him as he goes beyond a certain distance.

* They had high-octane, super-charged action sequences.
In one scene, Shatru demolishes a gambling den to take his rightful winnings. In another, Dharmendra literally hammers a goon into the ground. Even the frail-and-firangi Karan Kapoor stuffs a packet of cocaine into a drug lord's mouth with such panache as if it was a doctor inserting a thermometer in a patient's mouth.

Nowadays - thanks to the astronomical star salaries - we have forgotten what multi-starrers look like. All the major films of the last few years have just about one lead pair and some assorted newcomers / character artistes. Of course, the other lament is that the concept of character artistes has evaporated.
Action directors are from Los Angeles. Locations are in Manila (for small budget films) and Miami (for big budget films). Choreographers are from Paris. Script sessions are in London. Stylists parade the 'look' of each film in Lakme Fashion Week. Even actresses are from Brazil.

Loha
was shot almost entirely in Filmistan, occassionally venturing out to Madh Island and Lonavla.
It did not have a bound script but the director knew the story by heart and so did we. The dialogue writer (Kader Khan) had a role, so that he could write the lines on the sets.
Even the fight-masters acted as the villain's sidekicks.
The heroines wore clothes they couldn't have worn anywhere in civil society, but they were probably used in several other films - all thanks to the monopoly of Maganlal Dresswallah.
And it was probably funded by the underworld, for all I know...

It is ironic that when these films were made, we used to crib that there is hardly any variety in Bollywood. Now, I am complaining of excessive variety!
Sigh... it has been such a long time since I saw a film with Sound Recording by Hitendra Ghosh (Rajkamal Kalamandir).

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Time waits for no one. True love waits forever.

The cheesy-for-some-romantic-for-most title line is actually a tagline for a Mel Gibson film, Forever Young. In the film, young Mel is in undying love with a girl, who has a 'fatal' accident. Heartbroken Mel gives himself up for a science project which has virtually no chances of success. Crazy bugger! For the project, he is cryogenically frozen and forgotten immediately afterwards. When he is accidentally revived some twenty years later, he is still a chirpy mid-twenty guy. And he comes across his old girlfriend, who had survived after all and is now married, dowdy and aghast at Mel's youthfulness.
There is no reason really for telling this story but then, there is no reason for most of the things on this blog... For example, why do I keep Udayan on the blogroll when he has not posted for the last millennium?

This post is an attempt to collate some wonderful, some arbitrary, some crappy taglines from movies. Some of them are obvious. Some of them are high philosophy. And some of them are simply better than the movies themselves!
I have a green diary from my college days, that is literally falling apart. Most of these quotes are from that vintage and I needed to preserve them before the diary disintegrated totally.
Readers are urged to add taglines from newer movies.

So, here are some of the better ones. Which incorporate a significant element of the plot and inject as much curiosity as possible! 

Robinhood: Prince of Thieves - For the love of all men. And one woman. He fought to uphold justice. By breaking the law. 

Psycho - Please don't give away the ending. It's the only one we have. 

Mississippi Masala - Love is colour blind. 

Cape Fear - There's nothing in the dark that isn't in the light. Except fear. 

Mrs Doubtfire - She does floors. She cooks dinner. She reads bedtime stories. She is a blessing in disguise. 

Pulp Fiction - You will never know the facts until you know the fiction. 

Alien - In space, no one can hear you scream. 

Anaconda - When you can't breath, you can't scream. 

Sommersby (starring Jodie Foster and Richard Gere in a film about the latter returning home after being given up for dead and Jodie does not find him at all like the husband she knew) - She knew his face. His voice. His touch. She knew everything about him. Except the truth. 

Bollywood has been quite unimaginative in coining taglines. The best example of that is the line for Main Khiladi Tu Anari (starring Akshay Kumar and Saif) - The Brave and The Brat!
Otherwise, it is either hyperbole (The Most Powerful Film Ever Made - Parinda and A Love Story of Epic Dimensions - 1942 A Love Story, both Vidhu Vinod Chopra!), literal translation (Paths of Fire - Agneepath) or plain & simple un-imagination (A Violent Love Story - Tezaab and Darr. 
Very rarely do we have a simple line which sums up the film without giving away the plot. Dil Hain Ke Manta Nahin had one such - A Journey into a Woman's Heart. Considering that they did not have spend any time thinking of a story, they obviously spent time thinking of the tagline! 
And my favourite? Jugal Hansraj's adult debut with his Masoom co-star, Urmila, was a film called Aa Gale Lag Ja. It advertised itself by saying - Never before a Love Story with 7 Songs and 11 Murders... 
How can you not want to see a movie like this? 

Gladiators in the Arena

Pointless post, propagating violence, bad language and boorish behaviour. Only JU students, past and present, may be able to relate.

My alma-mater had three faculties - Arts, Science and Engineering.
Arts had beautiful girls (is there any other kind?), effeminate boys and the collective sighing of the frustrated Engineering guys (again, is there any other kind?) ensured a constant storm blew across the faculty.
Science was bit of an unknown quantity - of which I wouldn't even have aware of if my good friends Anirban & Sujata had not been students.
Engineering was the hotbed (pun not intended) of activity, being the home base of a few thousand technically-inclined, hormonally-charged, muscular people. Most of them were totally unable to comprehend how girls fell for wimps who recited Pablo Neruda and had no time for macho men who thought nothing of hammering a cast iron flange for three hours straight.

Our professors came from an even sterner stock and considered AC offices to be a sure sign of pansy occupants. Anybody who has not installed a cooling tower in peak summer at a Jamnagar construction site is obviously not fit to live, they thought. As I write these lines, I get a feeling that people must be wondering if Engineers are a modern version of Spartans.
For those of you who have, let me hasten to add that this is completely inaccurate. Only Mechanical Engineers fall in that haloed category.

For these modern-day Spartans to flex their sporting muscles, there was an aptly named tournament called Arena.
For outsiders, it was a cricket tournament. For the Electronics department, it was a time to hide. For Chemical, it was time to show off that they had the maximum girls in the department. For Electrical, it was time to show off that they had really good cricketers. And for Mechanical, it was a time to pulverise the rest of the Engineering faculty into dust, swallow them with a gulp of Thums Up and pee it out in the centre of the pitch.
And in the four years I was there, Mechanical Engineering never lost a match in Arena.
Before anybody tries to protest at what seems like an exaggeration, let me add that we never let anybody finish a match we had the remotest chance of losing.

Mechanical and Electrical were the two largest departments on campus - with about 100 students in each year, making it about 400 in all. Apart from the obvious advantage of having the largest talent pools, Mechanical had an advantage over Electrical and everyone else.
We had the most skewed gender ratio in the entire University. At any point during my four years of college, there were never more than four women in our department - and that included the two librarians!
So, when it came to a scrape or a shout, Mechanical males swamped the Electrical by about 3:2. And in terms of expletive-shouting males, we swamped them about 10:1 because any Electrical boy nurturing even the slightest hopes of having a girlfriend in the department would die before uttering anything that questions somebody else's parentage.

So, every single Arena followed a predictable path for Mechanical.

First Match
: vs Electronics. Mech scores 150 odd in 20 overs, which was quite monumental in those pre-T20 days. Bundles out Elec for 70 in about 15 overs. Match watched by about 350 Mechs and 20 (including the team) Electronics junta. Mech thoroughly demotivated by this unequal match.

Second Match: vs Metallurgy (or some other insignificant department). Mech batting mainstay attends class. Champion pacer drops out for reasons unknown. Umpire from Metallurgy. Match attended by 20 Mechs. Metallurgy squeezes through. Team captain known for his stupendously bad cricket and stupendously good luck at tosses blames lack of support and blatant cheating by umpire. Organising committee forced to take note of the latter. Department takes note of the former.

Third Match
: Must win vs Physical Education. (This was the department which turns avid sportsmen of Bengal into certified Physical Education teachers - and they were known for their exceptionally good sporting skills and terribly bad tempers.) Phy Ed bats first and scores 120 odd and complains of a few dodgy LBW decisions. Mech needs to score the runs in 15 overs to qualify on run rate. Star batsman starts off explosively with Mech reaching 90 odd in 10 overs. Phy Ed complains of nasty barracking by Mech supporters (of approx 500, including sympathetic neutrals). Mini collapse of Mech leads to 110/5 in 14 overs. Phy Ed long-on fielder makes obscene gesture at crowd and is pelted with pebbles. Fisticuffs breaks out. Match awarded to Mech on Duckworth-Lewis.

Semi-Final: vs Chemical. Match attended by 700 Mechanical sympathisers, including him (must-read description of Mech prowess). Great attendance from Chemical as well, nearly 250 (which is about their entire department). Rumours of Chem's tearaway fast bowler chucking in last match. Mech audience vows to replace cricket ball with similarly shaped parts of the bowler's anatomy. Vow lustily communicated to Chem audience, which depletes to 200 almost immediately. Mech bats first and Chem pacer called for chucking thrice in very first over. Whispers of partisan umpiring from Chem side, lost in full-throated Mech cheering. Pacer loses rhythm and is soundly thrashed. Mech scores 140 odd in 20 overs. Chem audience now reduced to about 75. Chem starts to bat. Loses one wicket and 15 members of the audience every 10 minutes. Match ends with Mech procession around entire campus, with slogans clearly explaining how Chem (and other departments) have certain orifices in their body that are larger than they should be.

Final: vs Electrical. As much a battle of equals as it could have possibly got. Mech audience of 700, slightly daunted by 3 sports quota players in Electrical team. But not apparently as banners, whistles, masks, bamboo sticks with vests as pennants cover the entire arena. Electrical makes steady start as no attention is paid to cricket. Verbal duels (soon to be part of University folklore) take centre-stage. Silently, Electrical compiles a competent 120 odd. Match declared as a cakewalk by Mech supporters. Mech star batsman again starts explosively as cheering reaches crescendo. At 70 in 7 overs, he falls to a close stumping decision. Deathly silence as Electrical seems too scared to cheer. As Mech considers brushing it off, Third Year student (who just came down from the second floor of the Mech building) claims to have seen the bat grounded. Murmurs of discontent starts. Mech loses second wicket. Out bowled but bowler's arm angle clearly doubtful. Very soon it is 90/6 and it is discovered that the organising committee Secretary is from Electrical. Mech decides to protest against this partisan behaviour. Millions of Mechanical supporters swamp the ground, uproot stumps and almost succeed in rolling back the matting wicket. Indeed, 'Mat gutiye shesh kor' is still used by JU Mech alumni as a call to end farcical situations. Intervention of Dean ensures half-hearted resumption. At the fall of the 7th wicket, Mech captain throws up his hands and claims continuation of rampant cheating. Mech supporters swarm field, slap umpires, apologise to Electrical players, roll back the matting wicket and take out procession to celebrate unbeaten record. Electrical handed trophy in secret, behind the toilets.

After the infamous 1996 World Cup semi-final at the Eden Gardens, Calcutta was ashamed at the spectator behaviour. JU students were only surprised that there were so many Mechanical alumni at the stadium that day...

Postscript: I wish I could reproduce some of the slogans. But I am told, all my cousins (even the sub-18 ones) read this blog nowadays.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Sue Kar Mere Man Ko

Sue has asked me to name six unspectacular quirks of mine. And pass on the onerous task to 6 more unsuspecting souls. And finally, tell these innocent souls to bare their souls. Whatay fun!

The first task is easy enough and Sue touched my heart (and hence the title!) by asking me to give it a filmy twist. I first thought she wanted me to explain Republicans and Democrats in filmy terms (which is easy - Sunny Deol and Saif Ali Khan respectively!) but then it transpired that it is the tag which must allude to my Bolly quirks!
So here goes...

1. I just love musical medleys and spoofs in films.
The clutch of Laxmikan-Pyarelal songs in Mr India, with which Sridevi and the kids sparred over a football. The antakshari in Maine Pyar Kiya which was actually an elaborate charade to make Bhagyashree say 'I love you' to Salman in public. The show in Hum Saath Saath Hain which is put up by Saif and Karishma to introduce the family. And of course, the Naseer Hussain college music competitions with a flurry of song-lets (Hum Kissi Se Kum Nahin and Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar, for example). I love them all. In fact, I am addicted to them.

2. Various Bollywoody questions and possibilities suddenly hit me and I spend days worrying about them.
Will Amitabh and Madhuri ever act opposite each other? Which was the first time a product placement happened in a Bollywood film? Who counted the number of films in which Jagdish Raj acted as a police officer? Who enters the data for Bollywood films on IMDB? Will Ramgopal Verma ever appear on Koffee With Karan?

3. I have liked several 'lesser films' more than I liked 'classics'.
I liked Dharam Veer more than Mughal-e-Azam, Chalti Ka Naam Gadi more than Pyaasa, Jewel Thief more than Guide and Don more than Abhimaan. Consequently, I cannot understand people going ga-ga over certain 'classical' moments. Every list of erotic moments in Bollywood routinely contains the Mughal-e-Azam scene in which Dilip Kumar 'tickles' Madhubala with a feather. I found that scene completely passion-less and boring.

4. I have a fetish for collecting souvenirs.
In school, I had a scrapbook of Amitabh Bachchan pictures, which I still have. I have retained ticket stubs of some of the more memorable movies I have seen. The last one I collected was the first time I went for a movie with my son (Lage Raho Munnabhai) but unfortunately, the print on the tickets nowadays fade with time. Also, I have cuttings of newspapers and magazines from twenty years back featuring my favourite stars.

5. Usually, I like the musical oddballs more than the acrredited hits.
The Aaashiqui number from Rock On. Amitabh's rendition of Neela Aasmaan. Anup Ghoshal's rendition of Tujhse Naraaz. Shashi Kapoor version of the Do Aur Do Paanch title song. In Abhimaan, there are snatches of Tere mere milan ki yeh raina all through the film before it comes on as a full-blown performance in the finale. I liked all those humming-jamming pieces better than the song!

6. I don't buy pirated music or films. I don't download music from the 'net. Actually, I only download music of which I own an original album. I only wish Bollywood would be impressed by my honesty and reduce the prices of original CDs!

I think Udayan and Nilendu should continue this tag to revive their blogs. Cannot think of anybody else who has six unspectacular quirks...

Friday, October 03, 2008

US Presidential Elections for JU Students

Entirely speculative. Slightly pointless post. Purposeful people to please avoid.

With the elections for the Most Powerful Person on Earth due soon, there has been a lot of ill-informed speculation on who/what the two sides - Democrats and Republicans - stand for.
For students (past, present and future) of Jadavpur University, here is a quick primer (culled from the chat transcripts of two ex-students):

American politics is like JU Engineering.
Democrat is Chemical Engineering - full of youthful pansies.
Republican is Mechanical. You are always looking for a scrape. No matter how much you screw up, you are proud of yourself.
And of course, if there is a good-looking woman standing for election, you vote for her. Period.