Tuesday, April 07, 2009

You Must Be A Bong If...

... you are secretly proud of Pranab Mukherjee.

... you feel a mild surge of anger whenever people mention Greg Chappell and John Buchanan.

... you think the Left Front is corrupt. Though not Buddha-babu.

... you feel that Mamata Banerjee should not become CM, come what may.

... you attribute people's successes to their Bong connections. And rue the chance to claim Ratan Tata into the fold.

... your ranking of the top Engineering colleges is like this: Presidency College, IIT Kharagpur, BE College, Jadavpur University...
What did you say? Presidency does not have Engineering? My friend, it is still the best.

... you always speak in Bengali even when you are in neighbouring states like Jharkhand and Orissa. Or for that matter, C R Park.

... you can catch a cold in summer.
Only Bengali language has a term called sardi-garmi.

... you feel sorry for Tamils since they have to eat idli-dosa every day.

... you are convinced you are more intelligent than your boss.

... irrespective of where you stay, you have bought (or are planning to buy) a flat in Rajarhat.

... you have a Rabindra Rachanaboli, which you have hardly read.

... you have a Feluda Shomogro, which you have read cover-to-cover. And do so every month!

... you pity people who have never heard of Jacques Derrida.
Even you don't know what the guy does. But nobody will dare ask you that.

... you claim that Beef Kabab outside Statesman House is best dish you have ever tasted.

... you think Ritwik Ghatak is a better film-maker than Satyajit Ray. And Snehasish a better batsman than Sourav!

Inspired by this post. Feel free to add on.

17 comments:

Debamitra said...

Dipta:
It is true for Calcuttans....but is it true for the " probashi" s?Because i think people who are living outside kolkata they must have developed some finer habits of at least reading Rabindra Rachanabali/ Gitabitan for rabindra Jayanti or not considering Presidency College the best college in India....Bengali s thoughout the World are food lovers,and can do anything for "Sharshe Ilish" or " Chingri Macher Malaikari". What i have written is simply my own feeling...Difference in opinions are welcome

Aneela Z said...

pathans have a similar term for sardi/garmi in pushto but that could be as we like to one up everyone.

shinjansengupta said...

I found your blog yesterday (yes im from earth, if you are wondering)and have been reading it ever since. I am not even a blogger to qualify to comment here, but couldn't resist this post.
I am in mumbai for one year, so have discovered in me some more bong parameters in addition to yours. I'll only state the most important one of them.

Phuchka on a shaalpata cone .... Any attempt to compare it with panipuri and/or golgappa is unforgivable.

I am a snobby bong. Faced it.

Nice post...I enjoyed the one with 'tomake chai' also. May be mohiner ghoraguli could arouse your interest... just a suggestion.

Rimi said...

What rubbish, everyone gets colds in summer, aj becoj "seajen change" is happening everywhere.

Also, you forget the monkeycap. What is a Bengali without his monkey-tupi?

And I must protest re. Presi (I'm from JUDE, what do you expect), not having read Robindro Rochonaboli (I finished all the golpoguchho by the time I was 12, so there), and Rajarhat flats. Rajarhat is a horrible place. I dislike it muchly.

Aar Dipta! Khaoadaoa baad diye Bangali hoy? Unforgivable omission.

March Hare said...

E baba. Na na. Ami ajeebon Ray'r hoye juddho kore jabo. Moteo sob bangali ra ritwick ghatak ke better bhaabe na.

Ar college street? Coffee house?

Yayaver said...

I am now knowing bong and bollywood through your blog.I hope that i will see west bengal one day........

Aneela Z said...

you must be bong if every query/request/comment fielded to you is fielded with a WHY?
there is a dominant argumentative gene.

D said...

Great post Dipto! :)

Also,you must be a Bong if,
whenever you are frustrated you end your conversation with ... 'oi jonne Bangali der konodin kichhu holo na'!

Ritu said...

LOL You forgot Football!

Siladitya said...

nice article u posted here.
Haiku Poems

wisdomwearsneonpyjamas said...

Ahem. Ratan Tata belongs to MY fold. And since we're so few in number, we do not generously give our own away. You're welcome to join, though. You're certainly cracked enough. :P (And no, references to talking to one's chicken are unacceptable as an argument.)

Roger Rabbit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roger Rabbit said...

Dipta,

For years, Calcutta is perceived in two ways: one - through the eyes of the 'probashi' bangali and two - through the eyes of the 'residing' bangali. Since I have worn both the hats for a considerable period of time, I fully understand that these points (which you have penned down) are from the 'probashi' bangali... specially the political ones. Politics in Bengal are grossly misinterpreted in and out of Bengal. The average 'resident' bangalis would mostly deny you on the Buddha-Mamata-Pranab points.

The non-political points are simply marvelous -- except the Presi (ektu too much hoye gelo) and the Ghatak-Ray one (eta aro ektu beshi too much hoye gelo).

Two vital points you have missed out :
... you pity people who has yet to come across the monosyllable "Shiraz" and still claim that the best biriyani in the nation can be found in Hyderabad.

... you would argue till the end of the world to prove that Bollywood music ceases to exist without the blessing of any 'bongoshontan' (or 'bongololona' nowadays)

Sue said...

ROTFL!

Guilty as charged on most of the above but hey, every alumnus from JU -- myself included -- knows that JU beats Presi hollow on every count.

Roger M said...

We have a group under Facebook, Kolkata Unplugged. Guess you would enjoy, joining in, browsing the contents & participating too. Since its 'closed' & by invitation only, let me know your e-mail to send you an invite. Browse around, and if you like what you see, stay on else call it a day.

Regards
Raja Mitra

Saurav Chakraborty said...

You must be a bong if : You love the guy who almost made it...and attribute luck as the main factor for the guy who did make it.Us bongs...we love underdogs

innerspace said...

Good Observation...hilarious conclusion.Good listing but could have added more.